FIGHTING WORDS

Many people grow up with several warnings, dos and don’ts from their parents especially from their mothers. They are warned where to go, at what time to sleep, the kind of friends to choose, who to play with, the houses in the neighborhood to go to and a host of others.  Some are constantly reminded of the kind of poor families they come from, and should therefore be guided by that in choosing their friends and playmates.

I have come to realize that these statements and warnings from parents especially the mothers actually do more harm than good in the long run. Most people have grown to become timid, shy, and afraid. They are scared of taking any risk in life, they see their colleagues and friends as people not to be trusted because they grew up with the “suro nipa” (fear man), statement at the back of their minds. We are made to believe that man’s greatest enemy is his fellow man, but I have also come to appreciate that man’s greatest help in this life is man, because all you need sometimes in life is an introduction to a higher authority by a third person as in the story of Joseph in the Bible. Pharaoh’s Chief Butler made mention of Joseph as someone who could interpret dreams and it was this reference that took Joseph from prison to become a Prime Minister of Egypt, the most powerful nation at that time.

It is very sad how most of us think of our villages and hometowns, as a result of reports from our parents, we dare not even think of visiting the village folks. If someone returns from his or her village to the city and falls sick, the sickness is blamed on an old lady in the village who is minding her own business. Meanwhile, the cause of the sickness could be attributed to a change in weather, drinking water, food or even fatigue from the torturous journey. Our lives are shrouded in some kind of mystery such that we hold witches and wizards responsible for every misfortune which more often than not is a result of our own mistakes or negligence. Until we demystify these mysteries, we will be living in perpetual fear and ignorance.

I grew up with a lot of warnings and dos and don’ts which put some kind of fear in me. These admonitions came from my parents, guardians at some point in time and some elderly people I came across. As a result of some of these admonitions I became scared of risks; I then realized that most of these cautions have had a negative influence on how I perceive life. I sometimes become petrified of people, even those I share the same beliefs with.  

However, some of these warnings do not just prevent one from doing wrong or being careful in taking decisions but they have tendency of killing ones ego and making him feel inferior to others. They beat people into abject submission when one has to stand tall in the face challenges, have caused aborted dreams, plans and aspirations.

In some instances these warnings or admonitions have become very powerful in determining the choices we make and the decisions that shape our lives. They decide the friends we make, the places we visit, the schools we attend, the families from which we marry among others.

Words are very powerful, they are life and spirit, as a matter of fact the universe was created with words and miracles are performed most often by the spoken word. Words form the basis of the philosophies and principles with which we live our lives. They come from what we read, hear, and see. In order to prevent the negative effect of words have on us, we must be very selective with what we read, listen to, and the kind of people we allow to advice us. The words that we cannot select before hearing, for example warnings from our parents, we must be cautious how we allow these words to affect us. We must therefore take control of our minds in order to mitigate the consequences of words on us.

J B ESHUN © 2011.

Pednet
The DECISIONS we make determine the direction of our lives. Come network, strategise and laugh @ DECISION 2011 by Pednet. Rev. Anthony Cudjoe of ICGC Calvary Temple, Winfred Asamoah of Walsbridge and Bernard Avle of Citi 97.3FM will speak - December 9, 2011 @ GNAT Hall in Accra. Tickets sell for GHC 15. Group discount available; call 024 6574850 for info.

LA BATAILLE INTERNE

Chaque jour je me réveille à une bataille

C’est une bataille personne peut m’aider

Je n’ai pas besoin du militaire

C’est un combat des voix

Ces voix, c’est moi seul qui les entends

Le fond de mon cœur est le lieu du combat

Les forces qui combattent sont les voix

Ils sont les voix du bien et du mal

Les forces de l’obscurité et la lumière

Pour renoncer et relever à des défis

J’ai identifié trois voix dans cette bataille

La voix de soi

La voix qui parle du bien

Et une autre voix qui semble d’être la plus forte parfois

Elles sont dans un combat pour le contrôle

Laquelle dois-je écouter

Celle qui gagne, règne, mais c’est pour un moment donné.

Quand est-ce que cette bataille prendra fin !

I SEE DIFFERENTLY

Where you see impossibilities

I see possibilities

Where you see failure

I see success

Where you see problems

I see solutions

Where you see defeat

I see victory

Where you see poverty

I see wealth

Where you see lack

I see abundance

Where you see death

I see life

Where you see sadness

I see happiness

Where you see challenges

I see opportunities

Where you see fear

I see faith

Where you see slavery

I see freedom

Where you see losers

I see champions

So, after all we all don’t see things the same way.

POISONS

I was once rushed to a hospital late in the night. I had serious diarrhoea and within a matter of minutes I had emaciated and looked like a Somalian refugee. All I could hear myself say was; “God, why me?”, because I could not figure out what was exactly wrong with me. When I got to the hospital there was no doctor on duty but the nurses managed to get me a bed and gave me drips.

The following morning a nurse took my urine for a laboratory test. The result for the test for released in the afternoon and the doctor examined it asked what I ate earlier the day before. From his examination the cause of my illness was “food poisoning” which was found in the last food I ate before going to the hospital. I realized it was the “wakye” (a local Ghanaian delicacy prepared with rice and beans and coloured leaves) I enjoyed in the afternoon on that faithful day.  He prescribed some drugs after his examination.

Some years later I thought of that incident and the word “poison” came to mind, so I decided to look it up in a dictionary and I got this definition: Poison is any substance that usually kills, impairs, or injures organisms or something destructive or harmful. After reading this, I began to think that I could have died from that food poisoning. One thing that also came to mind was the fact that if one takes in anything, be it food in liquid or solid form and the food contains any substance that can harm or cause the body to malfunction can be determined as poisonous.

Thanks to science and technological advancement poison in whatever form can be detected through a laboratory test. However there are yet some poisons more harmful and deadly that science and technology have not been able to provide the appropriate technology for their detection and treatment. These poisons have destroyed many lives, families, friendships, marriages, businesses among others.

These poisons are ANGER, BITTERNESS, and JEALOUSY (ABJ).

ABJ are the world’s most deadly poisons that science has not yet discovered their cure. These poisons are more fatal than venoms from plants, serpents, scorpions etc. ABJ are a sudden keen displeasure aroused by injury or injustice and greed and are usually accompanied by strong desire for vengeance or get even. They cloud our sense of reasoning, fellow feeling and set us on the road to self destruction.

ABJ cause us to point fingers at others when frankly speaking those fingers should be pointing to us and because we find fault with other people, we plot to punish by any means possible, to the extent of killing. We would always want to be on the same level with our neighbours or be better than them because we feel and think they are the reason we are where we are in life.

As all these self annihilating actions, pursuits, and plans are not enough, we expend all energy available to split families, set friend against each other, break marriages and collapse businesses. We do all these for the reason that we are angry, bitter and jealous in one way or the other.

I believe we can construct meaningful lives irrespective of the hurt and unfair treatment meted out to us by others. Instead of applying all our energies to fight back for all the wrongs done us, we can focus all our efforts to LOVE and FORGIVE, for there is more LIFE in loving when hurt than VENGEANCE.

If you forget that “anger is an expensive luxury in which only men of certain income can indulge (G. W Curtis)” please do well to remember that “the jealous man poisons his own banquet and then eats it”.

J B ESHUN © 2011