FIGHTING WORDS

Many people grow up with several warnings, dos and don’ts from their parents especially from their mothers. They are warned where to go, at what time to sleep, the kind of friends to choose, who to play with, the houses in the neighborhood to go to and a host of others.  Some are constantly reminded of the kind of poor families they come from, and should therefore be guided by that in choosing their friends and playmates.

I have come to realize that these statements and warnings from parents especially the mothers actually do more harm than good in the long run. Most people have grown to become timid, shy, and afraid. They are scared of taking any risk in life, they see their colleagues and friends as people not to be trusted because they grew up with the “suro nipa” (fear man), statement at the back of their minds. We are made to believe that man’s greatest enemy is his fellow man, but I have also come to appreciate that man’s greatest help in this life is man, because all you need sometimes in life is an introduction to a higher authority by a third person as in the story of Joseph in the Bible. Pharaoh’s Chief Butler made mention of Joseph as someone who could interpret dreams and it was this reference that took Joseph from prison to become a Prime Minister of Egypt, the most powerful nation at that time.

It is very sad how most of us think of our villages and hometowns, as a result of reports from our parents, we dare not even think of visiting the village folks. If someone returns from his or her village to the city and falls sick, the sickness is blamed on an old lady in the village who is minding her own business. Meanwhile, the cause of the sickness could be attributed to a change in weather, drinking water, food or even fatigue from the torturous journey. Our lives are shrouded in some kind of mystery such that we hold witches and wizards responsible for every misfortune which more often than not is a result of our own mistakes or negligence. Until we demystify these mysteries, we will be living in perpetual fear and ignorance.

I grew up with a lot of warnings and dos and don’ts which put some kind of fear in me. These admonitions came from my parents, guardians at some point in time and some elderly people I came across. As a result of some of these admonitions I became scared of risks; I then realized that most of these cautions have had a negative influence on how I perceive life. I sometimes become petrified of people, even those I share the same beliefs with.  

However, some of these warnings do not just prevent one from doing wrong or being careful in taking decisions but they have tendency of killing ones ego and making him feel inferior to others. They beat people into abject submission when one has to stand tall in the face challenges, have caused aborted dreams, plans and aspirations.

In some instances these warnings or admonitions have become very powerful in determining the choices we make and the decisions that shape our lives. They decide the friends we make, the places we visit, the schools we attend, the families from which we marry among others.

Words are very powerful, they are life and spirit, as a matter of fact the universe was created with words and miracles are performed most often by the spoken word. Words form the basis of the philosophies and principles with which we live our lives. They come from what we read, hear, and see. In order to prevent the negative effect of words have on us, we must be very selective with what we read, listen to, and the kind of people we allow to advice us. The words that we cannot select before hearing, for example warnings from our parents, we must be cautious how we allow these words to affect us. We must therefore take control of our minds in order to mitigate the consequences of words on us.

J B ESHUN © 2011.